Take a number, please.

For insurance purposes, I needed to obtain the police accident report at Austin Police Department. According to the APD paperwork the assigned officer provided to me at the time of my accident, the process outlined seemed simple enough. Go to the website, call the office, or visit APD on 8th street.

Since it seemed easiest, I went to the website: http://www.ci.austin.tx.us/police/. The site was not user friendly. Great, now I know what the current Police Chief looks like, but that really doesn't help. Scroll down, scroll up, click in random places hoping to eventually get to somewhere. Spent nearly an hour and then called the number on the pamphlet: 512.974.5212. I get a voice that lists several categories for me to select, only to point to the website again. Fortunately, the male voice provides site navigation instructions. Eureka? NOT! After entering my information and the accident case number, NO REPORT! Initially, I thought maybe I didn't wait long enough....maybe the system was characteristically slow. But looking at the pamphlet again, it states that Transportation Code 550.041 that the "detailed report will be available 3 to 5 business days after tthe crash and can be purchased from APD Report Sales."

That should've been the clue: APD is another money-grubbing governmental agency that has spent unknown $$$$ of my taxes to pay for a tool they apparently haven't bothered to understand or use. At the onset, I should've just gone APD Report Sales at 715 E. 8th Street.

Hubby and I were surprised to find the ominous fortress-like building lacked the typical government agency line. Behind the plate glass looking bored out of her mind was a government worker, smacking her gum and head rested in her hand. We smiled hello. No response. We figured we must give her a form, as forms line the plate glass desk that separated her from us. None of the forms met our needs. So hubby ventures a conversation. Her response: "Take a number please." Stunned, we look at each other, around the empty foyer, and back at her. He ventured a follow-up question. "Do you have that number?" I pointed at the small basket of plastic covered numbers to my hubby, who retrieved said number which then animated the bored government robot.

It took her less than 5 minutes to log onto the computer system, run over to a file cabinet, to return to the plate glass desk that separated us from her and rummage through a stack of papers about 10 inches thick, retrieve and copy my report, and then quote us a $6 charge for all that work.

Honestly, I think we paid too little. I think I can charge people $10 just to watch and marvel at her transformation.